Relient K must have pissed off one too many groupie. (or is it group-i?) Early Thursday morning, the band was roused from their sleep on their tour bus when the bus driver started yelling, “Fire!”
Chief Terry Shaffer of the Shanksville Volunteer Fire Department said ‘the fire started in the engine compartment located just below the rear lounge of the 12-bunk tour bus’.Yeah right, I know arson when I see it, and you may have thought you could have left those girl drunk and impregnated, Relient K, but do not underestimate the wrath of a scorned band tramp. Bitches don’t mess around. Maybe you should have kept to bible study instead on panty inspecting!
The fire happened just east of the Somerset exit on the turnpike. Shaffer said band members were ‘lucky to get out of the bus. The fire was going pretty good when (firefighters) got there.’
The blaze, smoke and water damaged or destroyed the band’s instruments, sound equipment and tour merchandise, plus the members’ laptop computers, cell phones, cameras, iPods, clothing and other personal items. I love biblical-esque disasters, it was like God himself spat down fire and brimstone.
Groupies: 1 Relient K: 0.
I would say lesson learned. Now someone buy me some Midol before those band tramps’ ire turns on me. Trust me, Midol is like kryptonite to the enraged whoa-man. Well, that and slutty underwear. …Huh. Slutty underwear… doused in gasoline… under the engine hood, for the win! See, solving crime cases is easy! Take that, Judge Marilyn Milian!
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