Huh. I guess now i know how out of touch i really am–my #2 selection apparently produced nary a peep from anyone except for a “Brainiac? Never heard of ‘em.” I guess this means i’ll have to utilize the new mp3 player feature here on the site to school some fools in a future post (maybe one i actually do when i’m not at work).
ANYWAY, we have arrived. It’s been a hell of a ride, kids, and now, i give you DJ’s #1 Most Favoritest Awesomest Badassest Record of ALL TIME: the incomparable Angel Dust by Faith No More.
Here’s a band that seriously hasn’t gotten their due i
n the United States, despite a hit single (which, i swear, i barely even connect with this band anymore. Seriously, “Epic” is so far removed from what this band is about that it makes the wave of rap-metal bands who cite FNM as an influence all the more embarrassing) and Mike Patton’s annoyingly devoted “everything he touches is gold” cult following (of which i am a devout member. I am what i hate–and what Patton himself isn’t so keen on either). It stuns me how many people still see FNM as the “flopping fish” one hit wonder, and have more or less ignored one of the most interesting, strange, and original bands of the last 25 years.
Simply put, Angel Dust sounds like no other album i had ever heard before it or have heard since. Period. Seriously, think about it–if you’re familiar with Faith No More, can you think of one or two artists that you can easily peg as their influences? Black Sabbath, certainly, but that’s an easy touchstone only because they called attention to it with their spot-on perfect cover of “War Pigs” on The Real Thing. And Sabbath alone doesn’t account for the lush synth lines, the occasional sampling (”Jizzlobber” off Angel Dust borrows some strings from Kronos Quartet), or the primal, tom-heavy drumming (Mike “Puffy” Bordin studied African drumming in college; that’s where that comes from). And the obsession with the scatological and juvenile (”Cuckoo for Caca” from King For A Day, Fool For A Lifetime, “Be Aggressive” from Angel Dust)? That’s just a product of their own willingness to channel their nerdy inner 5-year-olds.
What makes Angel Dust such an achievement is the fact that Faith No More came from fairly mediocre roots. It’s very difficult to listen to the first album, We Care A Lot, without having the rest of the catalogue as a reference for where they were headed. The ideas are messy and poorly executed, and as evidence, i give you the evolution of the song “We Care A Lot” from the bare-bones version on the first album, to the better-fleshed-out and lyrically improved version on Introduce Yourself, to the up-tempo live version with Patton on vocals (the first two FNM albums feature weirdo Chuck Mosley doing vocals that are, well, an acquired taste. I can say that because eventually i acquired it). What their evolution bears witness to, however, is a willingness on the part of the band to really experiment, try things for the sake of being different and not having been tried before. These guys were either completely uninterested in making traditional heavy music, or were completely clueless as to how to go about making traditional heavy music. Honestly, it was probably a little of both.
That willingness to try different things got them a deal with Warner Brothers (talk about evidence of the death of the music industry…i canNOT imagine anyone giving a band like FNM a chance to stagger around for an album or so before hitting their stride these days) and eventually scored them that “hit” single and record with The Real Thing. But to their credit, they were completely uninterested in doing the same thing twice, and decided to up the weird and darken the mood on Angel Dust.
Fortunately, they weren’t always on the same page when it came to what direction to take the weird, and that tension is exhileratingly apparent on the record. The entire album has a feel that can be best described as “darkly ridiculous,” as depressingly gorgeous songs like “Everything’s Ruined” and “Kindergarten” would segue into “Be Aggressive,” which is about the joy of giving blowjobs (even the video to “Everything’s Ruined” manages to contrast the dark nature of the song itself by being completely silly–the band is cheaply bluescreened in front of images like a giant tortoise and a slab of roast beef).
That the band was never again able to duplicate the exact brand of tension and experimental spirit on future albums (Album of the Year comes close, and is a fantastic record, but it doesn’t achieve the same levels of songwriting, mood, or cohesion) makes Angel Dust all the more special. No one will ever make another album like this. Nowhere will you find anything close to resembling the same combination of bickering weirdos unsure of what they did to deserve this major label contract and this hit single money, but giddy enough to spend it regardless of what the label was looking for (not to mention a major label apparently willing enough to admit they had no idea what the band was doing, but trusted them enough to do it). That shit’s in the past. All we can do, as modern rockers, is to try to reach for that holy grail, to make our own Angel Dust, and hope that we have as much dorky, twisted fun during the journey. Angel Dust is a shining example of what making music, to me, is all about.
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Hey, I appreciate you doing me a favor, DJ. No one’s gonna have any more raised eyebrows over -my- #1 album now that they’ve seen yours 
I actually felt a lot the same way as Der Commissar. FNM always seemed a bit…silly to me.
Well yer both WRONG!!
So, Faith No More is too “jokey,” but Turbonegro is “fun.” Let me file that away under “Herr Commissar Inconsistencies.”
I’ll back you up. Faith No More were genius.
There was a Voivod/Soundgarden/Faith No More show I had to see in Champaign, back when I was an underager (How long ago was this? Well, let’s just say, Voivod was headlining. Faith No More were the openers.) I’d been scheming how to get in, and was walking home trying to come up with some sort of elaborate plan that involved fire exits or something. Lo and behold, I spied a card on the sidewalk. It was a driver’s license. The picture looked a lot like me. And the fellow was 24.
The gods wanted me to see this show.
And boy, were they right. Faith No More ripped my poor little mind into shreds. They did a death rock cover of the Nestle’s theme. (”N-E-S-T-L-E-S/Nestle’s makes the very best.”) During one song, Mike Patton threw his microphone over some pipes running across the ceiling, and then proceeded to pull himself up the microphone cord (a good 15 feet) to the pipes and swing from them like a crazed orangutan. Then he dropped to the stage, and couldn’t get the cable untangled from the pipes. He sang the next two songs while standing on the kick drum, so he could reach the mic.
Kee-rist!
The only time i got to see them live was in 1998 on their last tour, and i had to suffer through Limp Bizkit as their opening act. Limp were practically laughed off the stage from what i remember. I really really reget never seeing the Voivod/Soundgarden/FNM tour, but i really regret missing the FNM/Helmet tour, which my ex-gf got to see. And she doesn’t even like FNM.
The gods love you, but they spit on poor li’l me!
And sorry, jokey? Silly? That’s gotta only come from “We Care a Lot” and the videos. They’re only jokey in the same way as the Joker from Batman - funny in a totally-psychotic-fearing-for-your-life fashion.
This could actually lead to a whole discusion on the old “humor has no place in rock music except as novelty” argument, which i think is completely batshit ridiculous. Were the Dead Milkmen a “novelty” as well? How about Anthrax?
I’d love to hear the Commissar’s explanation as to how Turbonegro aren’t a jokey novelty despite songs like “Midnight NAMBLA” and “Hobbit Motherfuckers.”
This album features about 7000% more slap bass than anyone’s favorite record should have.
Brilliant album, definitely a top ten album for me. Definitely the best metal album ever. And good description. I was also recently thinking about why so many of those damn rap/metal jackasses that call FNM an influence got it wrong. They were never about “Rap Rock” they were experimentation! And that band tension definitely was key and losing Jim after Angel Dust can be called the main reason they never reached the heights of Angel Dust again. They needed that tension from the “heavy metal guy,” that eventual comprimise between Martin’s tendency to go dark and Patton’s tendency to go spastic batshit.
And what a brilliant cover/ album title concept.Partially just a darkly funny contrast of a swan (or is it a heron?- whatever, it’s pretty) and a dead cow but also a bit more- “Angel Dust”- the words sound so pretty, so you get the pretty bird on the cover but the reality of the drug is ugly, brutal and destructive, so on the back you get a slaughterhouse complete with severed cow head.
Excellent representation of the album and the group. A contrast of ideas, a bit funny, a bit brutal and yes, a little bit beautiful.
i like fnm some, but i like them more after reading these comments, if only for the fact that their fans are smart enough to laugh limp bizkit of the stage. and look, dude, i didn’t say anything about brainiac because i don’t know anything about them. you post a tune or 2, i will totally check it out. looking forward to it, actually.
and def. post something on the ‘humour in music’ topic - i will totally jump on that train. there’s always ween and tmbg to make the point with.
Well, now that i’m done with this list, i’ma need something to write about, so humor and the abuse of the term “novelty” is as good as any…
As keyboardist of the USA’s only Faith No More tribute band, The Fake Thing (www.thefakething.com), I feel qualified to defend this pick. Nice one, hotshot!
FNM is the ultimate unrecognized and forgotten 90’s band. People look at me with a confused and almost sympathetic look when I tell them what my band does, and only when I mention, “That video w/ the fish,†does a sliver of recognition emerge. Matter of fact, ‘Epic’ is our least favorite song to play, and I’ll tell you why:
FNM mixed the hilarious with the scary-as-fuck, and it worked. They came about at the right time (I was just getting pubes and Angel Dust made a man out of me quick) and were somehow endorsed by the mainstream, despite having nothing formulaic about them. They were MTV’s darlings for awhile, due in part to the New Kids on the Block and Sinead O’Connor covers they teased. Their own material defies mainstream acceptance - if someone’s older brother has a copy of ‘Video Croissant’, I recommend borrowing it and watching the performance of ‘Caffeine’ and consider if anything like that will ever be put in front of a studio audience again. No, they were too hard to categorize and couldn’t hold on to anyone’s attention except for the fans who were smitten.
I fear that I’m not explaining why FNM is a great band, and more why I think they are worth devoting an entire band to covering. Remember, we’re at: http://www.thefakething.com (someone help - how do I insert a link into the comment editor?). I am inspired to review all of Faith No More’s albums in chronological order, because the mere mention of the band (outside of The Fake Thing) sends me into a week-long FNM binge, and you all need to understand why hotshot and I are right.
Holy fuck!
Borch, you ever need a substitute drummer, gimme a ring. I’m just up I-94 in Milwaukee.
I will never forget that FNM appearance on “Hangin W/MTV.” Really, the performances were not even the highlight…it was watching Patton and Billy fuck with the two chick douchebags trying to interview them. “So, tell me about all the different characters in your songs, like, the person in ‘Midnight Crisis’ is really different than the person in ‘RV’…” “Oh, i’m sorry, i wasn’t even listening to the question…”
aw, i love to see superstarcastic bringing people together musically. almost as much as it makes me laugh to see it tearing people apart.
A drummer? Excellent! We’ve been between drummers since April, when our drummer suffered major and lasting ear damage at a gig. Lesson: wear earplugs, kids!
We practice in Hammond, IN, which sucks for me and the guitarist, but it’s worth it. We’ll talk more as the New Year dawns and we get gigs…
Yes, that interview is f-ing hilarious… it was like the Daily Show in reverse.
Why would you think for a moment that Turbonegro isn’t completely serious?
Turbonegro is jokey in one way, and they become the joke. I have met people who actually thought the members of the band were gay. You really can’t tell igf they are serious or not. Faith No More to me does the whole ‘look how clever we are’ And they’ll be jokey one song, serious the next.
Magnetic Fields do a much better job of slipping from humorous to serious, and genre leaping in a crazy way than FNM.
I don’t know. Maybe its the fact at their core that they are metal and I have never enjoyed funny metal…. Except Manowar. Except they aren’t funny either.
I love Magnetic Fields, but they just never get as terrifying as Faith No More. 
I wouldn’t say they’re metal at their core - they’re punk. And funny punk gets a lot of mileage from me.
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Comment by Commissar Startastic — December 21, 2006 @ 11:38 am
OMG!
DJ, I must say that your #1 is as big of a anti-climactic moment as the nightly Lettermen Top 10s.
First, I hate the \’every Mike Patton touches is gold\’ crowd and AM not one of them. It\’s all fun and good but I would describe it more like, everything Mike Patton touches is copper.
Really what it boils down is that for me, Faith no More was so jokey, that it never bared repeat listening to me. I almost thought of their music as novelty, like Weird Al or something. I don\’t know, they just always seem forced to me.
Couldn\’t your #1 have been Butthole Surfers or something? Or Dead Kennedys? Or Mr Bungle even?
PS. Do you like the Estradasphere? I hope not….
PPS Have you heard the giraffes yet? http://www.thegiraffes.com/index.html. You will love them.
*sighs*