After years of arduous study, researchers have found that Fall Out Boy has not been the primary cause of global warming. The scientists’ conclusions were published after Fall Out Boy canceled their trip to Antarctica, falling short in their quest to be the first band to play on all seven continents. The band came under criticism after the Wilkins Ice Shelf, a big piece of ice where Fall Out Boy was supposed to land, collapsed 15 years earlier than expected. Fall Out Boy douchebag Pete Wentz immediately denied responsibility, saying, “Someone sent (the story) to me and they’re like ‘Oh now you guys are going and this ice shelf fell that wasn’t supposed to fall for another 15 years.” And I’m like, ‘We didn’t even land there so that wasn’t even our fault.” I’m like, wow, that totally sucks. Wentz continued, “Basically it’s more evidence of global warming,” exonerating Fall Out Boy from the charges of killing us all - through global warming anyway.
No penguins could be reached for comment, but a spokesman for one did not deny the penguin’s utter joy after being spared the Fall Out Boy experience. And the trip did have at least one real benefit. Wentz learned that there are seven continents, two more than he was aware of.
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Comment by Borch — March 30, 2008 @ 12:23 am
Man, all those fans of FOB in Antarctica are going to be devastated! At least now they’ll know what it’s like to live in Cleveland.