OK, full disclosure first: I’m a huge fan of Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black album. Crack wise all you want about Hot Mess’ trainwreck existence as of late, but facts are facts: tracks like “You Know I’m No Good,” “Tears Dry on Their Own,” and yes, the single “Rehab,” are inspired gems of classic Spector-esque girl group production with a modern feminine fuck-you edge–oh yeah, and they’re totally danceable and hummable to boot.

That being said, yes, i appreciate the irony in the story reported today (which i’m sure will be all over just about every schadenfreude-obsessed dlisted ripoff gossip site on the intertubes before too much longer) which reports that miss “No, no, no” has said “well, all right” to rehab. Give us the haps, NME:

It is being reported today that Amy Winehouse’s mother in law has called the singer a heroin and cocaine addict.

Speaking to The Mirror, Winehouse’s mother-in-law, Georgette Civil-Fielder, said of the singer the singer had confessed to her.

“She told me she was addicted to heroin and cocaine,” claimed Blake Civil-Fielder’s mother.

She also suggsted that during Amy Winehouse and husband Blake ’s hotel stay following her drug overdose last Tuesday (August 7), the couple were delivered heroin by a friend, which they allegedly took in the hotel.

Amy Winehouse is currently in the Causeway drug rehab centre in Essex, casting doubt on whether Winehouse will perform this weekend’s V Festival (August 18 and 19) as scheduled.

This morning a V Festival spokesperson told NME.COM that they had heard no word from Winehouse’s camp about a possible cancelation, and so still expected her to play.

Really, though, it’s not like no one saw this coming. Amy babe, it’s like Sam Elliott said in The Big Lebowski: sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you. And the bar doesn’t have that wicked British crackhead grill you’ve been sportin’ lately, Amy, so be careful when it goes chomp.

(photo via The Daily Mail, which is a very trashy rag.)

UPDATE: Holy craps, she’s out already, says The Daily Mail:

Amy Winehouse has quit the rehab clinic - and headed straight for the pub.

Husband Blake Fielder-Civil airlifted her from The Causeway clinic in Essex by helicopter and set a course for their local.

The 23-year-old singer had been expected to spend weeks in rehab at the clinic but after “a couple of decent meals” insisted she was fit to go home.

And for that read fit enough for a drink at The Old Eagle in Camden.

Blake’s parents, Georgette and Giles Civil, were on hand to make sure the party went according to plan.

“We were praying they wouldn’t bail out early. We don’t want them to go back into their vicious cycle,” Blake’s dad said.

* * *

Amy was rushed to hospital last week after a three-day binge on drink and drugs. Afterwards she checked into a luxury hotel with her family.

Then Blake checked in to join them - bringing another stash of heroin.

Amy’s father Mitch “flipped”, triggering the move to the clinic.

The latest events have prompted him to consider sectioning 23-year-old Amy to force her to get help.

A friend said: “Mitch is desperate for Amy to get some proper, lengthy treatment but she’ll only do it with Blake.

“It’s madness. She was supposed to stay for a few weeks and sort herself out. But after a couple of decent meals she insisted she was fit to go home.”

Apparently Amy at least stayed there long enough to sober up and remember that she has a reputation to uphold as an addled substance abuser who refuses to get help. Wait, she had to sober up to remember that? Wait, what? Brain hurty. Amy, yer crazy. Call me when you’re in Wisconsin and we’ll party.

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