THE SPICE GIRLS ARE RETURNING FOR A WORLD WHORE TOUR!
Source - The Daily Mail
Dust off your plastic thermoses and anatomically incorrect collector’s dolls because the Spice Girls are coming to a country near you. Obviously, the end is upon us and the rapture is nearing because the Spice Girls will embark on a 25-city devouring the souls of impressionable children and lecherous old men. And the tour can start as soon as Christmas! By the power of Jeebus, I compel you, someone please stop the Spice Girls. What, you aren’t scared? Well, take a gander at them now!
Do Not Want. Time has not been kind to the Girls, more like Spiced Hags.
Sources say that that the girls have already headed to the studio to record their “vocals” for the tour. Apparently their vocals are not up to snuff. Or maybe it was snuff that killed their vocals.
The source said, “When the girls sing out of tune on stage, the mistakes in their voices are instantaneously corrected - in less than a tenth of a second - by computer to perfect the pitch and tone.”
“And it is this remastered “virtual voice” which belts out across the arena. The girls’ vocals are altered so quickly that it will appear the resulting perfect voices are live and their own.”
And it appears Posh Spice is determined to destroy the US on her own. Oh dear, with Jerry Falwell dead, can we rely on snaggle toothed Jewel to save our souls!?! Call the U.N.! Stop this travesty. Think of the children, but not the British children. I blame them. This is their doing. I know it.
12 Comments »
yeah…sporty is cuter…in an ugly super-villan kinda way.
i dont know about you guys…but they’re all so “tan-in-a-can” & botoxed that i can’t tell which one is the black one?
i can’t tell which one is the black one?
That’s scary.
(See what i did there?)
oh hotshot, u are very funny, very punny indeed.
Sporty = Chan Marshall.
With an English accent.
Want.
eew. posh embodies all that is foul and wrong in fashion. hell, in life.
STOP TANNING
I didn’t like them much at the time — mostly because my sister did — but I actually think they’re nowhere near as bad as they were made out to be. They were leagues ahead of, say, the All Saints (except on “Pure Shores,”) and I’d take them in a heartbeat over Jessica Simpson, or whoever the teen-pop kids are listening to these days. I also don’t think they look half-bad in those pictures.
But I’ve reviewed too many Kylie Minogue albums for my opinion on this subject to be worth much…
Did you here the girls have a no preggo clause in their tour contract this time around? So there is a silver lining to this new world tour thing.
Yeah no shit. the less spice babies the better. but if baby spice has a baby, does that make it baby baby spice? or baby^2 spice? or B2 the spicenator? oh man. i could go on forever.
When will Olde Mother England wake up and realize that when babies are having babies, it’s time to DO SOMETHING?!?
but they all already HAVE kids. well, baby’s about to spit one out, which leaves sporty as the only one who hasn’t puked out a rugrat yet. am i the only one that hopes they’ll build a giant playpen as a stage prop?
Know what? You’re totally right. I had forgotten that the Spice Girls’ offspring have a movie coming out this year.
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Comment by hotshotrobot — June 28, 2007 @ 10:22 am
You know what? I think Sporty’s gotten cuter with age.
So, which one gets to be Old Spice now?