Today’s Roast: The Ramones
Yes, it was sad when Joey Ramone died. And, furthermore yes, sadder still when Dee Dee and Johnny followed so closely behind. However, it was when Joey died that I realized, with some regret, I’d taken the Ramones for granted.
I then realized I’d taken them for granted for good reason; they’d only been making the same fucking album, albeit in increasingly toothless and hookless increments, for about over thirty years. Honestly, if death hadn’t cut them off, they’d still be doing it. Fuck it, I’m a dick anyway–Death arrived too late.
I mean, what kind of asshole was this any fun for anymore? Oh sure, as if the absolute and calculated denial of any form of creative growth wasn’t thrilling enough, there was always the pathetic spectacle of Joey having to breathe through an oxygen tank mid-set, or of Dee Dee King.
Granted, their fans and torch bearers have always been a better part of their problem. Appreciating the first few albums, sure, but attempting to reduce Rock N’ Roll down to a three chord novelty act and sneering at anything that doesn’t musically follow suit makes for as dull a time as an hour or two spent listening to Rush or Yes. It’s ironic that Ramones fans would refer to people who were opinionated about music, but not necessarily in favor of the Ramones, as “music snobs†when they themselves sneer at everything else in non- mainstream Rock circles as “indie†or “precious.†It’s become about as pretentious and ridiculous a costume as the mime- faced goth kid, or the bling dripping wigger. The Ramones were a shrewd bunch of Republicans who dumbed down to entertain, and a league of suburban kids took the cue and ran with it. Like every pop posture, it became an anachronism. Like every other anachronism, people who have spent an unhealthy portion of their lives defining themselves by it refuse to let it go. This means that some of us get the distinct pleasure and privilege of listening to some fuckwit go on and on about something along the lines of how “indie†ruined “punk†and how “punk†“saved†“Rock N’ Roll.â€
You’d figure that, just a couple of summers ago, the sight of a bunch of sorority girls in pink and turquoise Ramones shirts (they did love their Von Dutch not so long ago), would have driven the final nail in “Da Bruddas’†coffin. Isn’t it about time we buried it?
19 Comments »
I think the way you are describing what the Ramones did is akin to describing Piet Mondrian as a guy who ‘drew straight lines’. I agree with your sentiment though, people who lament change are boring, and can go fuck themselves. People who think rehashes of history (Panic! at the Disco) are change, are even more boring.
However trashing a sacred cow just to make your point? The most boring discourse of all. Unfortunately, people are boring, so keep it up!
How can you argue that punk didn’t save rock — or at least help rescue it from its ’70s stupor?
It’s not that punk didn’t come around when it was needed - it’s a matter of who’s making that claim (in this case, a fuckwit). Geeks can regurgitate phrases from VH1 about how punk restarted rock’s heart might technically be ‘right’, but please have the decency to preface such bold claims with, “I saw on TV that…”.
Sigh.
One Republican in your band or no, YOU make at least four classic albums, then you can start blaming bands for their asshole fans.
The Ramones were a shrewd bunch of Republicans
Wait, isn’t that about 75% wrong? Someone clear this up.
Anyway, two other quick points:
1) AC/DC also has recorded the same album about 15 times, and god bless ‘em for it, because that record still kicks ass the 15th time!
2) This article is about 11 years too late, as Green Bay’s Boris the Sprinkler recorded “KIll The Ramones” around 1996, if i remember correctly.
DJ, I can’t believe you said that. AC/DCs record only kicked ass about the first 7 times. If you really feel that way please send me your copies of High Voltage and Dirty Deeds (because I dont have them) and you can sit at home and listen to Ballbreaker and Thunderstruck.
Oh, come on. “Thunderstruck” is a jam. Maybe not a “Whole Lotta Rosie”-level jam, but a jam.
Okay….in answer to some of your critiques…
A.) How can I argue that DUMBING DOWN saved rock from it’s stupor? I think I just did.
B.) Never saw that VH1 special. Do I owe some VH1 talking head cultural commentator a royalty for my opinion? He’ll have to stand in line behind a couple of creditors if so.
C.)To JoshD….right, I’m sure many a Grateful Dead fan has made the same argument. In fact, I’m sure many a band with many an asshole fan has said the same thing. There wouldn’t be asshole fans without a source, and the source for assholism tends to feed off of the assholes. It’s all like some sick form of ass-symbiosis. Why don’t you go make four debatably classic albums, then apologize for your asshole fans?
D.) It has to be noted that, in the eighties, ALL FOUR of the Ramones were Reagan admirers. There were concerts where they’d refused to play Bonzo Goes to Bitburg because Joey, of all people, actually like how Reagan was supposedly “making things better” in America.
E.) AC/DC only made one good record with Brian Johnson, and that was Back In Black. I’m sorry but they, too, need to just quit. Their Andy Capp looking roadie with the thin, shredded voice just isn’t cutting it anymore
OK. I may have been painting a little too broadly when I said 70s rock was in a stupor before punk. The Velvet Underground was fucking brilliant, ditto with Bowie, and ditto with about 42 other bands that don’t come immediately to mind because I’m not that well-versed on 70s rock. Heck, I’ll even open myself up to criticism and say that Rush’s ‘A Farewell to Kings’ gives me goosebumps whenever I listen to it.
But, and I’m merely playing devil’s advocate here, how is punk dumbed down? Simple in a lot of cases, sure, in terms of instrumentation. But the songwriting? A lot of it — ‘Marquee Moon’ comes to mind, so do ‘London Calling’ and (I’ll go out on a limb here and call it punk, though it’s reaching but not quite getting a handhold into definitively post-punk territory) ‘You Can’t Hide Your Love Forever’ from the other side of The Pond — still seems relevant today, still sounds fresh. And though some punk is simplistic (Isn’t that simplicity intended?), a lot of other, more musically complex, stuff germinated in the creative ferment that surrounded the punk scene. Or at least that’s the word on the street — couldn’t tell you first-hand, as I don’t think they’d have let a 2-year-old into CBGB.
i wouldn’t use cbgb as my reference for all things punk anymore, especially in reference to babies…
CBGB club closes. Now it sells overpriced T-shirt for the Children of the “Ironic.”
I’d rather not speculate on what this says about society.
DJ–I remember when my best friend of yesterdyear made me listen to Ballbreaker. To this day, I enjoy running around singing “She threw me on the BED!”
Drew–I’m glad you’ve finally come around to The Clash. I TOLD YOU SO.
Why don’t you go make four debatably classic albums, then apologize for your asshole fans?
Because I’m not the one who wrote the completely wrongheaded article.
Believe me, I’m all for sacrificing some sacred cows, but you didn’t do a good job.
No, but you appear to be implying that unless one cuts four “classic” albums they’re not entitled to express an opinion of either band or fan.
And why four “classic” albums? Is four the cut off point? It seems a bit arbitrary.
And you say you’re all for sacrificing some sacred cows. Is that some as in not all? Maybe as in just not yours?
I’m sorry if my job wasn’t to your satisfaction. However, you’re not exactly signing my paychecks or anything.
A) The main reason I keep bringing up the fact that you blame the band on their fans is that you don’t have much else in the way of criticism in the article. The only other points you actually make are that they made the same record over and over again. You know what? There are a lot of other bands that don’t even have ONE original concept. And they sure as fuck don’t mean as much to people as the Ramones did.
B) It’s my opinion that the Ramones’ first four albums are their best work. Everything past that is pretty much downhill.
C) The Ramones are far from a sacred cow for me. I’m just suggesting that if you want to do this sort of thing, it should be far more well-reasoned and have some actual points. There’s a book called Kill Your Idols that does just that thing with fantastic precision, to some of my favorite (and least favorite) records.
D) Whoa, Superstarcastic started paying their writers? When did that happen?
What did I say? Trashing sacred cows are boring and you got alot of feedback 
As far as paying our writers goes, I have started giving Oliver reach-arounds. FYI.
*As far as paying our writers goes, I have started giving Oliver reach-arounds. FYI.*
See, I don’t ask for much.
Yes rules, and anybody that can’t see that is blind deaf and dumb.
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Comment by joiezabel — February 6, 2007 @ 5:49 pm
“This means that some of us get the distinct pleasure and privilege of listening to some fuckwit go on and on about something along the lines of how “indie†ruined “punk†and how “punk†“saved†“Rock N’ Roll.†”
i love that sentence.