The thing that annoys me about comic books? They never show what the super-villains do in their off time. Sure, we get the occasional glimse of Peter Parker struggling with his love life, or Batman engaging in some corporate merger. But what about the bad guys? What are they doing with all that stolen filthy lucre? Surely they have hobbies.
Well, allow me to let you in on a secret. Lex Luthor, BraÃniac*, Mysterio and Ra’s Al Ghul commit their dirty deeds to pay for their band.
That band is called IfIHadAHiFi, and they will rock you with SCIENCE!
Sure, they pretend to be four clean-cut boys from Milwaukee, but that’s just them being smarter than you - they get you to let your guard down, then twist your brain until it bends to their booty-shaking will! Everything about the band is smart - the palindromes, the so-tight-you’d-swear-it-was-computerized rhythm section, the Albini-esque guitar chime, the synths that aren’t new wave so much as no wave…
But this is knowledge used for Sinister Ends! Heck, the chorus of “(The HiFi Vs.) Potential Energy”, the first song on 2004’s No More Music, clearly states their criminal intentions: “WE WANT TO STEAL YOUR POTENTIAL ENERGY!!!”** Your only defense is to pogo until you drop!
Nowhere is their mad science more obvious than the stage. You know shoegazers? IfIHadAHiFi are whatever the opposite of shoegazers are. You will witness acrobatic feats of pure rock at the Beat Kitchen on June 2, the likes of which may never be repeated.
It’s a shame that there’s probably some fire code that keeps them from having a Tesla coil on stage, as it would seem to be the most appropriate accessory: electric, noisy, chaotic and potentially dangerous. But really damn cool.
* When I was writing this, I hadn’t yet seen hotshotrobot’s post in loving memory of the BAND Brainiac, but now this reference seems even more appropriate.
** They really do sing in all caps, bold and with exclamation points, I swear. Hit their myspace page and see for yourself!
10 Comments »
I can’t believe you’re encouraging to them to have yet more potentially life-threatening accessories on stage with them.
ifihadhahifi: fear for your life. and theirs.
But mostly fear for ours.
I’m still a little disappointed the show’s not happening at Subterranean. Last time we played there i dangled off that spiral staircase in back of the stage, and when my fingers gave why i crashed and bruised about half of my back but good.
Come to think of it, we have quite the record with bodily damage and Chicago…Yale got a concussion from a PA speaker at Prodigal Son…he got a bottle broken in his back at Cal’s…
you don’t need a record deal so much as you need an insurance sponsor.
Ba dump bump, pssssh.
i honestly can’t wait to see you guys go at it. since it’s my birthday week, will there be a special rendition of “happy birthday” for joie?
If by “special” you mean “barely recognizeable no-wave,” then we may be able to shoehorn it in.
all i ask is that somebody bleeds on stage. that will be the best birthday present ever.
Last Time we played the Beat Kitchen I fell off the stage face forward and landed on the last of my danelectros, and bassically harpoomed my crotch with a guitar neck…
the Beat Kitchen will do nicely…
hey, its my birthday week too..and all i want is for dj to wear that jean jacket.
PLEASE
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Comment by yaledelay — May 23, 2007 @ 10:21 am
Nice write up of us sir… I would go see us now…