- Wade - STILL in SonicBids & CMJ 2007: Anatomy of a Scam? …Meh. I LOVE this…..as a past user (used by) Sonicpigs, I got really disgusted that I was allowing myself to fall into the...
- tape in New Single: Patrick Wolf’s “Accident and Emergency” anna nicole smith sex tape
- Borch in Noah and the Whale - Peaceful, The World Lays me Down I forgot about the syrup! Rice cakes then… nothing blander than rice cakes, unless, of course, they’re topped w/ meat.
We had Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story at the theater-pub I work at last month and it was one of the rare movies our whole staff was sad to see go. I’ve been waiting until it came out on DVD to tell you all to check it out. That day has arrived, my friends.
This is not the funniest movie ever made, but but if you’re at all a music fan, this rock n’ roll biopic spoof is kind of a must-see. Here’s why:
- Judd Apatow’s script spoofs Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, and Jim Morrison.
-The songs are actually funny and actually good songs.
- Jack White plays Elvis like you’ve never seen Elvis played before (though probably close to what he really was like.)
- The Beatles: Jack Black (Paul), Jason Schwartzman (Ringo), Justin-I’m a Mac-Long (George), Paul Rudd (John). Inter-Beatles bickering. Acid trip. Watch for this scene alone. 
- After Dewey gets into acid, he makes an epically weird album that never finishes. He wants “an army of didgeridoos” and his band mate (SNL’s Chris Parnell) to “learn to play the fucking theremin!” Two words: Pet. Sounds.
- Dewey becomes relevant again after a rapper named L’il Nutzzack samples Walk Hard. (Yes, there are lots of ‘Cox’ jokes in this movie, but we’re talking about the music here.)
- Eddie Vedder as himself presents Dewey with a lifetime acheivement award, followed by a Lyle Lovett/Jewel duet of Walk Hard.
For being kind of a dumb comedy, it’s pretty smart. And quotable. See it.
Let’s talk about 1991. Your humble narrator was beginning his senior year of high school, a little album called Nevermind was about to knock the record biz on its ass, and despite the 80s having officially ended the year before, hair metal still ruled the airwaves and MTV. And presiding over the denim, mullets, AquaNet and rampant vapid groupie metal chick sex i was not having was “the world’s loudest heavy metal magazine:” RIP.
RIP Magazine ruled my high school years and more or less dictated my musical taste until college. Unlike bullshit rags like Circus and Metal Edge, which were essentially teenybopper pinup collections for hesher douchebags who didn’t want to be seen buying Big Bopper for the Debbie Gibson glossies, RIP actually gave a damn about the music it was covering–and more importantly, it only marginally cared if you liked it too. Sure, the covers were full of the bigwigs, like Guns ‘N’ Roses and Aerosmith, but inside the same issue whose cover Axl graced, you could see an interview with Faith No More slagging him off. Basically, RIP was ballsy and didn’t give a fuck–probably because it was owned by Hustler kingpin Larry Flynt. Sort of hard to care about public perception when your parent magazine is dedicated to bringing the golden shower to the mainstream.
Leading this show was RIP Editor-in-Chief Lonn M. Friend, who in 2006 published his autobiography, Life on Planet Rock, which i recently devoured after receiving it as a Christmas present this year from fellow SSC scribe Josh “The Fucking Wizard” D. Read more »
There’s a reason I have avoided going to a U2 concert my entire life. It’s not because I can’t afford the ticket prices, I am extremely capable and have enough dedication to beat up 100 little kids for their lunch money. It’s not because I couldn’t get to a city they were playing, since I have driven 24 hours straight by myself before with only Red Bull and Andrew W.K. to keep me at the wheel.
It’s because they suck.
Plain and simple.
They blow.
Hard.
I can’t stress this enough.
But for all of those out there who couldn’t get to the U2/save the children from our rabid dogs with cowboy monkey riders throwing Polio dipped arrows benefit concert (better known as the PopMart tour), you can now see the giant douchebaggery that is Bono on the big screen AND in 3D!!!
That’s right! The film, cleverly titled U2-3D, was debuted at the Sundance Film Festival. Footage from the 2005-06 Vertigo tour, better known as the help float Africa across the ocean to link up with Florida to help elephants with shingles tour, was shot with 3D camera technology. There really was no other reason for this except that Bono wanted to make a movie about himself, his band and be able to watch it in a movie theater while still wearing some type of tinted glasses indoors.
So if you just never had the experience of Bono’s leather-pant-bound crotch thrusting towards you in real life at least you can take home all the same nightmares due to 3D technology.
Also, who willingly names themselves The Edge? I mean, honestly… Really?
PS - Click the links for yet another dose of my awesome MSPaint skills. You’ll love it.
Kevin Federline is giving up the dreams of being a world famous rap star.
Upon seeing this update scroll across the news ticker, the entire world immediately removed the blood-soaked cotton balls that were shoved into their ears after the release of Playing with Fire in 2006.
Instead, Kevin Federline is now becoming a producer and is going to nurture new artists from his home studio.
Upon this news, the entire world went to research ear drum surgery or checked out a book on Van Gogh from their local library (yes, that was an art joke).
Really, Kevin? You think that you really hold the key to an artist’s success when your album only sold 20,000 worldwide? I can only imagine some of the precious nuggets of advice coming from the Federline Studio & Waffle House:
- “Y’all got nice clothes? Trust me, throw em out and invest in Hanes tank tops.”
- “Know any hot rich babes? You should prolly fuck ‘em. Twice.”
- “The key is to look like you know nothing. Even better is actually knowing nothing. Here’s a hammer…”
- “What I think you… Jayden! Sean! Stop messing with my stuff or I’m gonna send you back to your Mom!”
Maybe some of the children’s crying will make it onto tape when the cardboard vocal booth’s duct tape finally wears out.
Our first (and last) marquee of this tour!
As I believe I mentioned in the last tour journal entry, I could have been fine with Seattle being the last show of the tour, and if Portland sucked it… well that would be fine, I would just remember it different in my mind. See, the NW fest, which is a big music festival was happening that weekend, which the Tonic is NOT a part of, and basically meant that we were competing with at least a dozen really good shows. Bummer!
However, I was very pleasantly surprised by the PDX, and. dun… dun… DAH the very last night of the tour.
Read more »
Hi everybody, i’m Conan Neutron, I play in the band Replicator from Oakland, CA. There are many tour diaries, but this one is mine. Thanks to the SSC gang for asking us to do it here.
At this point in the tour we really had hit the wall as far as homesickness goes, two kind of lackluster shows in a row was making us all feel a little road weary. Luckilly Seattle decided it was going to treat us right, and the spontaneous cheering that we sprang into when we saw Puget Sound (and by extension, the Pacific… meaning OUR coast), was definitely indicative of a larger feeling.
Luckilly we were in for a hell of a good time in the beautiful SeaTac area, and, as it turns out, one of the best shows of the tour.
Just ask James from Police Teeth/USS Horsewhip there, he’s so stoked on the show he is IN. BEN’S. FACE.
James from Police Teeth/USS Horsewhip messing with Professor Ben.
