- Doug Stephen in FOR FUCK SAKE EVERYONE KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE GOD DAMNED ACCORDIONS JESUS CHRIST Woah, okay Vice Magazine.
- Doug Stephen in Vampire Weekend - S/T I’ve never listened to a solo Paul Simon record, or to Graceland, so I don’t know about that. But the songs I’ve heard by Vampire Weekend...
- bjyhore in New Single: Patrick Wolf’s “Accident and Emergency” She had actually been robbed of it cant be cruel. Mistress. I could do. jennifer lopez porn Three.
There’s a reason I have avoided going to a U2 concert my entire life. It’s not because I can’t afford the ticket prices, I am extremely capable and have enough dedication to beat up 100 little kids for their lunch money. It’s not because I couldn’t get to a city they were playing, since I have driven 24 hours straight by myself before with only Red Bull and Andrew W.K. to keep me at the wheel.
It’s because they suck.
Plain and simple.
They blow.
Hard.
I can’t stress this enough.
But for all of those out there who couldn’t get to the U2/save the children from our rabid dogs with cowboy monkey riders throwing Polio dipped arrows benefit concert (better known as the PopMart tour), you can now see the giant douchebaggery that is Bono on the big screen AND in 3D!!!
That’s right! The film, cleverly titled U2-3D, was debuted at the Sundance Film Festival. Footage from the 2005-06 Vertigo tour, better known as the help float Africa across the ocean to link up with Florida to help elephants with shingles tour, was shot with 3D camera technology. There really was no other reason for this except that Bono wanted to make a movie about himself, his band and be able to watch it in a movie theater while still wearing some type of tinted glasses indoors.
So if you just never had the experience of Bono’s leather-pant-bound crotch thrusting towards you in real life at least you can take home all the same nightmares due to 3D technology.
Also, who willingly names themselves The Edge? I mean, honestly… Really?
PS - Click the links for yet another dose of my awesome MSPaint skills. You’ll love it.
In yet another long-overdue blow to the hydra-headed dinosaur called the Record Industry, EMI Music today announced that it was set to send 2000 jobs to the chopping block:
The restructuring plans come from EMI’s private equity owner Guy Hands, who bought the firm for £3.2bn last year.
The record industry has been trying to cut costs as it faces falling CD sales and a switch to internet downloads.
EMI, whose artists include Coldplay and Kylie Minogue, said the cuts would take effect over the next six months.
Among the more controversial cuts making waves inside the company: Gorillaz’s Korean animators, Daft Punk’s entire IT Department, The Dandy Warhols‘ personal wardrobe consultants (who have been sleeping on the job for a few years now anyway, and god bless ‘em for it [Note: NWS]), and whoever the hell really sang on all those Spice Girls records.
The Guardian chimed in as well:
A spokesman for the company pointed out that the current business model at EMI was unsustainable. He noted that 85% of what is put out does not make any money while 30% of artists who get advances never produce an album.
If i find out that Trace Adkins’ “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” failed to turn a profit, i’ll be heartbroken. Don’t you just feel terrible for these guys? How are they supposed to deliver the new Yellowcard and 30 Seconds to Mars that the public is thirsting for when they have to spend money manufacturing over a million extra Robbie Williams CDs to send to China to be used in road surfacing and street lighting because no one bought them?
At least they still have Moby to sample the world’s tiniest violin for them.
There’s only one good thing that could come out of Barry Bonds’ steroid use…
I know this doesn’t seem like a music post, but stay with me…
I have a dream, that Barry Bonds’ steroid-enlarged head actually has festered a giant chemical bomb. One day, the Rock n Roll Comedy Jamboree starring Nickelback, Carlos Mencia, Larry the Cable Guy and Creed reuinon comes to San Francisco and Barry Bonds is the named guest of honor. All these acts together are exact combination to activate the chemical countdown of the bomb inside Barry’s head and while he’s on stage with all the acts doing their version of “Take Me Higher”, featuring Larry the Cable Guy on the moonshine jug, the last note causes the bomb to explode taking out everyone on stage, all the fans in the arena and all their monster trucks and tractors parked outside.
While this exact combination may not happen, my smaller dreams may come true some day at a 50 Cent or Mary J. Blige concert. These artists and more are under investigation in a steroids probe that are looking at doctors and clinics that provided athletes with steroids and they happen to go to the same doctors.
I mean, I can see the usage on 50 but Mary J? Can you imagine these two getting all pumped up and forming a WWE tag team or something? I think it would look a little bit… a’like this:
PS - Man, look at those awesome MS Paint skills!!!
Kevin Federline is giving up the dreams of being a world famous rap star.
Upon seeing this update scroll across the news ticker, the entire world immediately removed the blood-soaked cotton balls that were shoved into their ears after the release of Playing with Fire in 2006.
Instead, Kevin Federline is now becoming a producer and is going to nurture new artists from his home studio.
Upon this news, the entire world went to research ear drum surgery or checked out a book on Van Gogh from their local library (yes, that was an art joke).
Really, Kevin? You think that you really hold the key to an artist’s success when your album only sold 20,000 worldwide? I can only imagine some of the precious nuggets of advice coming from the Federline Studio & Waffle House:
- “Y’all got nice clothes? Trust me, throw em out and invest in Hanes tank tops.”
- “Know any hot rich babes? You should prolly fuck ‘em. Twice.”
- “The key is to look like you know nothing. Even better is actually knowing nothing. Here’s a hammer…”
- “What I think you… Jayden! Sean! Stop messing with my stuff or I’m gonna send you back to your Mom!”
Maybe some of the children’s crying will make it onto tape when the cardboard vocal booth’s duct tape finally wears out.
Apparently the slow fiery car wreck we call Britney Spears has finally gotten in touch with her inner Ryker’s inmate and is ready to cut a bitch. July 23rd, Miss Hit Me Baby One More Time was finally driven Crazy and threatened to kill two photographers who took her picture as she left a Las Vegas spa. According to Yahoo! News:
Spears yelled “I am going to kill you! I am going to f—ing kill you!,” at Andrew Deetz, the photographer who was allegedly beaten by Spears’ bodyguard on Thursday, according to a statement released by their lawyers. The men, Deetz, 24, and Kyle Henderson, 23, said they were preparing to sue.
The men were taking pictures of Spears, 25, as she and her children — 22-month-old Sean Preston Federline and 10-month-old Jayden James Federline — left the spa at the Wynn Las Vegas casino-hotel at about 11:30 a.m., accompanied by two bodyguards.
One bodyguard, Cesar Julio Camera, 37, pushed Henderson against the wall until Wynn security intervened and asked Henderson to leave, the statement said.
As they were about 30 paces away and walking in the opposite direction, Camera attacked Deetz from behind, threw him on the ground and punched and kicked him until security pulled him off. Afterward, Spears ran toward Henderson but was stopped by security, and then threw a baby bottle at him, it said.
Then, in front of several other hotel guests and bystanders, Spears threatened to kill Deetz and said he should get a restraining order against her because she was going to kill him or hire someone that would, it said.
Holy Crossroads! Methinks Britney may have gotten a hold of some ‘roids because her reaction has become a tad bit Stronger. That negativity is Toxic! In case you didn’t notice, I initially intended to write this using as many titles of her singles as possible, but apparently I’m not In The Zone. Hah! Zing, even till the end!
Source - news.yahoo.com
