- Aaron L. in Replicator US tour Blog - Day 22 - “9 lbs of Awexome in a 10 lb sack.” Man….I just found this. Don’t mean to get all spammy but Songbird on Linux (Ubuntu in my...
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There’s only one good thing that could come out of Barry Bonds’ steroid use…
I know this doesn’t seem like a music post, but stay with me…
I have a dream, that Barry Bonds’ steroid-enlarged head actually has festered a giant chemical bomb. One day, the Rock n Roll Comedy Jamboree starring Nickelback, Carlos Mencia, Larry the Cable Guy and Creed reuinon comes to San Francisco and Barry Bonds is the named guest of honor. All these acts together are exact combination to activate the chemical countdown of the bomb inside Barry’s head and while he’s on stage with all the acts doing their version of “Take Me Higher”, featuring Larry the Cable Guy on the moonshine jug, the last note causes the bomb to explode taking out everyone on stage, all the fans in the arena and all their monster trucks and tractors parked outside.
While this exact combination may not happen, my smaller dreams may come true some day at a 50 Cent or Mary J. Blige concert. These artists and more are under investigation in a steroids probe that are looking at doctors and clinics that provided athletes with steroids and they happen to go to the same doctors.
I mean, I can see the usage on 50 but Mary J? Can you imagine these two getting all pumped up and forming a WWE tag team or something? I think it would look a little bit… a’like this:
PS - Man, look at those awesome MS Paint skills!!!
so according to the nme, superstarcastic’s nemesis panic! at the disco has dropped the exclamation point from their name. henceforth they shall be known as the only slightly less annoying “panic at the disco.”
i would like to think that this is partly due to us and the huge amounts of ridicule we have thrown their way over the years. but however it came about, it is definitely a step in the right direction. i am sure their upcoming album will still suck though.
Applying to a Big, Ugly, Loud, Laborious Shit-Hot Industry Trade Show (or B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.S.) like South By Southwest or this month’s CMJ New Music Marathon is a tricky proposition for a small-time independent rock band with little to no label support–ironic, since these festivals were originally started, allegedly, to showcase new, up-and-coming, undiscovered talent. Well, i’m not shattering anyone’s preconceived notions by pointing out that this hasn’t been true in awhile; after all, who are Spoon, Xiu Xiu or M.I.A. hoping to be discovered by at this point? So, sorry to say it, small-timers, but there usually is no room at the party for your stupid little band.
Still, every year, legions of hopefuls apply to hope beyond hope (that’s a lot of hope, y’all) that the genius of their unique take on Hot Topic-accessorized mallpunk or NPR-approved accordion-and-banjo driven crapass Americana “alt-country” will tickle the right ear at CMJ, and will be magically extended the Golden Ticket to Manhattan or Brooklyn. And how will they apply? These days, through SonicBids, the online Electronic
Press Kit (EPK) networking service that “has become one of the fastest-growing music communities on the web trusted by over 70,000 artists and over 6,000 festivals, music conferences, and clubs from over 100 countries” (or so says their website). For only $35 every six months, you and your band can enjoy access to quick and easy application processes for each of those festivals, all of which will charge you entry fees on top of the SonicBids subscription price! That’s right–SonicBids affords you the opportunity for quick and efficient application to and rejection from SXSW, CMJ, Milwaukee’s Summerfest, and many others!
Now, before you think i’m being unduly harsh on the bands that subscribe to SonicBids and use it to place themselves on their knees, mouths open and gag reflexes at the ready, at the gross, veiny cocks of hundreds of aforementioned B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.S., it’s time for full disclosure–we’re one of those bands too. Or, at least, i am. The SonicBids subscription comes out of my pocket because i think it’s sort of ridiculous to ask the band to shoulder something that stupid. So, why do i do it? More full disclosure–it’s worked for us. Our SonicBids application secured us a slot at the 2005 CMJ New Music Marathon, playing Chinatown’s 169 Bar at 1:30 in the morning on the last night of the festival in front of 18 appreciative(?) concert-goers…15 of whom we knew personally. But, um, hey, exposure! Right? Eh? Eh?
Sigh. I kid, though; the entire experience was actually pretty fun and i’m glad we did it. But any notion that playing a CMJ showcase did anything whatsoever for our “career” (ha) is naive at best, delusional at worst. Still, this did not discourage me from humbly submitting the band to the mercy of the CMJ selection committee once more this year.
Unfortunately, little did i know that the recording of our next full-length would eventually get delayed until October–this weekend, in fact–when i applied. Since we’re all saddled with those albatrosses known as day jobs, taking days off for recording and a road trip to New York in the same month wasn’t going to happen, so i wasn’t very disappointed when we finally got our rejection notice (although, wow, having played before doesn’t guarantee you a future slot, eh? Good to know). What i wasn’t expecting, though, were 15 replies to the rejection notice, each from a different rejected band, each hitting “reply to all” to emphasize the fact that CMJ forgot to blind carbon copy the email addresses of 671 rejected applicants.
Uh, oops.
OK, full disclosure first: I’m a huge fan of Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black album. Crack wise all you want about Hot Mess’ trainwreck existence as of late, but facts are facts: tracks like “You Know I’m No Good,” “Tears Dry on Their Own,” and yes, the single “Rehab,” are inspired gems of classic Spector-esque girl group production with a modern feminine fuck-you edge–oh yeah, and they’re totally danceable and hummable to boot.
That being said, yes, i appreciate the irony in the story reported today (which i’m sure will be all over just about every schadenfreude-obsessed dlisted ripoff gossip site on the intertubes before too much longer) which reports that miss “No, no, no” has said “well, all right” to rehab. Give us the haps, NME:
It is being reported today that Amy Winehouse’s mother in law has called the singer a heroin and cocaine addict.
Speaking to The Mirror, Winehouse’s mother-in-law, Georgette Civil-Fielder, said of the singer the singer had confessed to her.
“She told me she was addicted to heroin and cocaine,” claimed Blake Civil-Fielder’s mother.
She also suggsted that during Amy Winehouse and husband Blake ’s hotel stay following her drug overdose last Tuesday (August 7), the couple were delivered heroin by a friend, which they allegedly took in the hotel.
Amy Winehouse is currently in the Causeway drug rehab centre in Essex, casting doubt on whether Winehouse will perform this weekend’s V Festival (August 18 and 19) as scheduled.
This morning a V Festival spokesperson told NME.COM that they had heard no word from Winehouse’s camp about a possible cancelation, and so still expected her to play.
Really, though, it’s not like no one saw this coming. Amy babe, it’s like Sam Elliott said in The Big Lebowski: sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you. And the bar doesn’t have that wicked British crackhead grill you’ve been sportin’ lately, Amy, so be careful when it goes chomp.
(photo via The Daily Mail, which is a very trashy rag.)
UPDATE: Holy craps, she’s out already, says The Daily Mail: Read more »
Everyone’s favorite Kentucky dance rock band, VHS or Beta, will set out to tour August 11th to support their newest LP Bring on the Comets (available August 28th). Their tour will begin in Columbus, Ohio and will continue throughout the U.S. I don’t know about you, but I think this is a must-see tour–VHS or Beta are sure to set the The Night On Fire!
Tour dates highlights are:
- New York’s Bowery Ballroom (August 29)
- Rock And Roll Hotel in Washington, D.C. (September 1)
- 7th Street Entry in Minneapolis (September 5)
- Chop Suey in Seattle (September 10)
- Mazzanine in San Francisco (September 14)
- The Casbah in San Diego (September 17)
- The Granada Theater in Dallas (September 20)
- The 40 Watt Club in Athens, Ga. (September 25)
- Headliners in Louisville, K.Y. (September 29)
Tickets are available now at their website! What are you waiting for? CLICK CLICK CLICK!
For those who don’t know, Au Revoir Simone have been there for me in so many ways: when I cried during “Grey’s Anatomy,” when I didn’t know who was going to sing the girl part during “Young Folks” at the Peter Bjorn & John show at The Empty Bottle, and when I discovered I enjoyed dancing naked in front of my mirror to the soothing sounds that only the keyboard can make. This Brooklyn electro trio knocked socks and hippie halter tops off with their debut album, Verses of Comfort, Assurance & Salvation.
This past March, Au Revoir Simone released their sophomore album, The Bird of Music, and to celebrate my favorite electronic female threesome (no frat boy fantasies, thank you) Au Revoir Simone was kind enough to answer Superstarcastic’s dreaded Five Questions… Of FIRE! (Editor’s note: There is no fire, nor are the questions dreaded, but our writers do tend to be adjective-heavy.) On with the questions!
1. When historians listen to your CD 1000 years from now, what will they say?
Annie: Whoa! I can’t believe people used round pieces of plastic to put music on!
Erika: Keyboard revival!
Heather: Where are the guitars?
2. If you could play a show w/ any band/musician living or dead, whom would you pick and why?
Annie: ABBA, because I want to be them.
Erika: ELO, because they are geniuses.
Heather: Bjork, because she’s basically, well, god. Read more »
