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It’s official. September 12. Fall 2008. Death Magnetic. Brand new Metallica.
Hearing the new album title is much like learning the title of the newest Harry Potter months in advance so as to ponder its contents. “Death Magnetic” does not fit linguistically with the previous albums, “old” and “new.” It’s not a phrase, like “Ride The Lightning” or “…And Justice For All.” It’s not a double entendre, like “Load” or “ReLoad.” It’s most god-lovedly not a deity or a revamped city name like “St. Anger,” …at least let’s hope to Christ it’s not. “Death Magnetic” is something new.
There is one HUGE and GOOD significantly different aspect of this album. Rick Rubin holds the responsibility of producing it. You know Rick Rubin. I know you do. He’s responsible for some of the most amazing albums put out by a small army of bands…including Slayer, The Mars Volta, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Public Enemy, System of a Down, Rage Against the Machine, Johnny Cash, and Slipknot, for God’s sake.
For those that don’t know, the original Metallica producer was Paul Curcio for Kill ‘Em All. Flemming Rasmussen took the reigns from Ride The Lightning to ‘Justice. Rasmussen basically just gave Metallica freedom in the studio and let them do what they did naturally. From there, the infamous Bob Rock took the artisic overseeing helm of Producer/Desecrater/Manipulator/Shit-Tizer-Of Metallica. He brought the market to the eyes of the then up-and-coming metal gods. He took the “fuck you, mainstream” vibe of Metallica’s natural sound and threw it a bit by adding none other than…a mainsteam vibe. Metallica hit sextuple platinum record sales with the new sound and decided to stick with it. Thank you Bob Fucking Rock. They guys haven’t been the same since.
It’s not like they never tried to change that. After the departure of Jason Newsted in 2000 and the battle with Napster by drummer Lars Ulrich, therapy was what Metallica thought they needed. They also made the…new age?… decision to let their therapy be filmed. While interesting to see a rich megaband’s weakest moments and commemorate the balls (or lack of, however you respond to it) of the band to allow it, it was a snuffing glimpse for many metal-heads. The horrendous result of the therapy sessions was none other than the bathroom break of St. Anger that knocked even die-hards to their fuckin’ knees.
Rick Rubin’s utter wonder of a history in music suggests good things not only could be but should be in store for the new album. Surely Rubin knocked some sense back into the aging metal legends, right? The rumors are that Metallica is bringing it back to the old-school on this new album. This could be from the leadings-on that Rubin is doing much the same type of overseeing that Rasmussen did; letting Metallica do their thing…not allowing a sweater-donned therapist tell a metal band how to create. Let’s all hope for the love of hope itself that that is the case.
If Death Magnetic kicks some old-school ass, it could be a new beginning for Metallica. If it’s another shit-sandwich, a term Ulrich is fond of using, it’ll probably be the last thing we’ll ever hear from the metal behemoth.
Two years ago, noted hair metal enthusiast Chuck Klosterman reviewed Axl Rose’s long-awaited musical equivalent to Ishtar, Chinese Democracy. Of course, the review ran in SPIN’s April issue and appeared on their website with a date of April 1. I hadn’t been paying attention to what was going on with the record, though (who was?), so i won’t lie–i fell for that shit.
Well, if NME is trying to play an April Fool’s joke, they’re about 9 days too late, according to the April 10th date on this report that Axl has–no fuckin’ way–finally turned Chinese Democracy over to Geffen Records:
Therockradio.com reports that Geffen Records, the band’s record label, have confirmed they have received a finished copy of the album, and are currently haggling over money and rights issues with Rose.
The album is reported to have cost in excess of $13million (£6.5million) to produce.
As previously reported, it is rumoured that a Guns N’ Roses reality TV show is set to be broadcast to coincide with the release of the album.
Bullshit? Truth? Who knows–a release date could show up in Billboard tomorrow and i wouldn’t believe it until i saw a copy of the damn record in Wal-Mart, complete with sanitized family-friendly lyrics. At this point i’m more likely to believe an article that leads with “Axl Rose Finally has Cornrows Taken Out,” so, ya know, not very likely.
Axl, you’re aware that Velvet Revolver is looking for a singer, right? Just sayin’, whenever you’re ready to give up the dream, dude…
The record industry is dying because everyone steals music off the internet! Er, maybe not. According to Reuters, iTunes has become the second biggest music retailer in the country, behind only Wal-Mart. According to the report, compiled by the NPD Group, legal downloads accounted for 10% of all music “acquired” in the US last year (whether that means sold or obtained, I’m not too sure). The amount of music purchased actually increased 6%, but “actual spending rates across the industry declined by 10 percent due to lackluster CD sales, dropping from about $44 per capita to $40 among Internet users,” Reuters reports. This could be due to a lot of things, such as stores like Best Buy and Target devoting more resources to selling their other wares instead of CDs, or maybe that music is a hell of a lot cheaper on iTunes. It’s hard to believe that the masses will be flocking to spend $16 on the new John Tesh CD, just to throw away the physical copy after they put it on their iPod.
In other news, Wal-Mart is the number one music retailer in the country. Ew.
my friend brian sent me this link this morning about this band called the high strung that posted an open letter to pitchfork on their myspace. not only is the letter amusing and incredibly well-written, it calls out quite a few of the points about pitchfork that we bitch about here on superstarcastic. what criteria do they use to pick “the next big thing?” and if their reviews are all personal opinion journalism, why can’t they just come out and say that?
anyway, yay for the high strung for being witty while self-promoting. and for donating their van to the rock and roll hall of fame at 2:00am. you should read their letter. then you should check them out.
It’s a little late for Best of 2007 lists, or is it? Most of my favorite releases have been touched on by others herein, and better, so instead I’m going to revisit the 5 most important musical events of last year:
1) Britney Spears - back on top: Teen-idol-turned-homebody Britney Spears put
the critics to sleep this year with her stunning return to the spotlight, Elvis-comeback-style. The reclusive mother of two had been living out of the public eye for much of the past two years, which earned a number of comparisons to Bob Dylan’s ‘middle period’. But out from anonymity came her hit album Blackout, which stunned audiences and critics alike from the opening salvo in which she bravely announces, “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked… it’s Britney, bitch.”
2) Axl Rose chooses to spend the night popping pimples instead of releasing Chinese Democracy: the legendarily erratic lead singer of Guns ‘n Roses opted to stay in last Saturday night and squeeze whiteheads out of his forehead, and pop those weird, stinky polyps on his crotch, in lieu of unleashing the much-anticipated Chinese Democracy album. Rose’s publicity agent, Izzy Stradlin, said that while the album is nearly ready for release, Axl was also considering shaving and is soon expected to formally announce that Democracy will be posthumously released.
3) Radiohead sues fans for downloading new album In Rainbows: citing solidarity
with Metallica and Prince, Radiohead brought lawsuits against fans that downloaded the band’s new release before it could be released on CD and LP. A spokesperson for the UK megaband reminded fans that making music costs money, and that even if fans would pay, say, $0.05 to $0.99 a song, then Radiohead wouldn’t be forced to incarcerate downloaders who take the music for free.
4) Amy Winehouse’s personal troubles become 2007’s #1 source for good jokes: news networks and blogs had a field day all year with clever headlines about the troubled soul singer’s well-documented battles with substance abuse, husband Blake Fielder-Civil and being basically full-frontally fucked up. “They tried to make her go to rehab, and she said, ‘Yes, yes, yes’,” printed one skillful celebrity gossip blogger to much acclaim and cackling. Otherwise witless and quiescent commentators were also given voice by the diva’s many implosions, including Bill Smith who knocked co-workers dead at the offices of Progressive Insurance outside of Cleveland with the quip: “Looks like she’s really living up to her name. You know, like her last name is Winehouse, and everything.”
5) Superstarcastival garners website acclaim, beer: the #1 musical event of the year, the highly successful Superstarcastival, solidified both the reputation of the burgeoning website, and also the livers of most of the staff. “The whole weekend was amazing, the bands that played were great, and it was everything we were expecting and hoping for,” said Joie, who later admitted to not actually remembering anything after Delilah’s the night before. “Obviously a banner year for SSC,” she went on, “what with a successful festival and that high-profile Butler tiff and all.”
And that’s 2007! Already a long time ago…
There’s only one good thing that could come out of Barry Bonds’ steroid use…
I know this doesn’t seem like a music post, but stay with me…
I have a dream, that Barry Bonds’ steroid-enlarged head actually has festered a giant chemical bomb. One day, the Rock n Roll Comedy Jamboree starring Nickelback, Carlos Mencia, Larry the Cable Guy and Creed reuinon comes to San Francisco and Barry Bonds is the named guest of honor. All these acts together are exact combination to activate the chemical countdown of the bomb inside Barry’s head and while he’s on stage with all the acts doing their version of “Take Me Higher”, featuring Larry the Cable Guy on the moonshine jug, the last note causes the bomb to explode taking out everyone on stage, all the fans in the arena and all their monster trucks and tractors parked outside.
While this exact combination may not happen, my smaller dreams may come true some day at a 50 Cent or Mary J. Blige concert. These artists and more are under investigation in a steroids probe that are looking at doctors and clinics that provided athletes with steroids and they happen to go to the same doctors.
I mean, I can see the usage on 50 but Mary J? Can you imagine these two getting all pumped up and forming a WWE tag team or something? I think it would look a little bit… a’like this:
PS - Man, look at those awesome MS Paint skills!!!
