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Let’s just pretend that the main selling point of the ZT Amplifiers Lunchbox (and it’s big brother, the Future Amp) isn’t it’s massive output for it’s size. (”The Lunchbox puts out 121dB from a box only 8″x9″x4″ with a 6.5″ driver. It looks like a cute little practice amp, but it is a serious, professional amp that can keep up with a live drum kit. The Future Amp, at 22 lbs, can fill the shoes of a 2×12, 80 lb. amp, save space in your car and save your back at the same time.”).
Forget that the secondary selling point that the Lunchbox is listed on the ZT Amplifiers site for $249. (or $449 for the Future Amp, which is twice the size w/ a 130 db output)
Pretend those geeky stats and ridiculously low prices didn’t exist. Here’s what I, representing the larger consumer base of the United States, am drawn to about the Lunchbox: It’s made out of a Goddamn metal lunchbox. Seriously. Look at the picture. It’s got the plastic handle and metal lock at the top.
With a look straight out of Muji or Ikea, these amps will look just as cool on the carpeted floor of your practice space as they will sitting on your KLUBBO coffee table. (Ok, I just wanted an opportunity to write the words “KLUBBO coffee table.”)
Ready to plug your guitar into a container that used to hold a thermos? You’ll have to wait. The FAQ on the ZT Amps site says: “As much as we would love to sell you a ZT amp right now, we cannot. Our amplifiers will not be available until late Spring 2008.” You may have to wait longer to walk into a brick and mortar store to purchase one as the main target market is in China. Given the looks, the price and the output, I wouldn’t expect China to be their only market. This thing has the potential to become the new standard in practice amps.
The Offering blipped onto my radar sometime in mid-2007, and I haven’t taken my eyes off the band since. Their self-titled EP, released by the exceptional Safranin Sound record label, was on my “Best of 2007″ list, which means a hell of a lot to me, and it should to you, too. Because my list was the only actually correct one made.
Just kidding, kids. Well, kind of. My point is, you should be listening to The Offering right now.
The band will be releasing a full length sometime in May on Safranin Sound. It will be “…the most adventurous, risky record we’ve done yet, all but abandoning our pop roots for a little more rock n roll inspired experimentation and psychedelia.” Sounds like it’s going to be awesome.
Charles of The Offering was kind enough to subject himself to our 5 Questions routine, and if you keep moving your eyes in a downward direction, you can read his answers.
1. When historians listen to your most recent album 1000 years from now, what will they say?
1000 years from now global warming, terrorism, the war to fight terrorism, the destruction of civil liberties, the total annihilation of music as art, and many other historical and sociological factors will have led to one of two things: 1. we’ll all be dead, or 2. music will no longer exist, or will be controlled as if in some sort of strange vonnegutian existence. Pitchfork Media will offer online degrees in music theory, and their writers will be considered the authority on all things music. They will probably still not know who the fuck we are.
2. if you could play a show with any band/musician living or dead, who would you pick and why?
There are so many to choose from. Syd Barrett/Pink Floyd, Ian Curtis, Kurt Cobain, the Velvet Underground, the Zombies, Can, the Doors, Black Sabbath in the good years. All of the above? Shit, actually I’ve got it. The Four Seasons just after Genuine Imitation Life was put out. Fucking phenomenal.
3. What is the strangest band-related dream (one of) you have had?
I dreamt that my brother, who passed last year, came to see me at my mother’s house. He had blisters on his hands and dirt on his body. He was tired and gaunt looking but still healthier than he looked near the end of his life. He was eating gummy worms with a spoon out of a cereal bowl. He told me that he was tired. I asked him why. He said it was because “they have us digging holes”.
4. What do your fans look like?
Parasites.
5. What bullshit do you run into at most every show that makes you think “man, this bullshit again?”
We don’t generally run into much bullshit because we don’t care enough to really get involved but recently a show we played in philadelphia turned out to be a pretty miserable experience involving a certain band and their now apparent hatred for us not only as musicians but as people. I’m going to leave it at that as this is already a pretty severe beating on a very dead horse.
“The World’s Greatest Music Collection” is up for auction on Ebay. While the name may be very subjective and the premise alone could spark pages of debate on blogs like… oh, I dunno… say, Superstarcastic.com, it is a pretty impressive collection of LPs and CDs (what, no cassettes or 8-tracks or Reel-to-Reels?).
On the collection’s website, current owner, Paul Mawhinney, claims that there are 3 million records (45s, 78s, EPs and LPs) and 300,000 CDs spanning all genres.
By Apple’s advertised estimations, it would take 150 160 GB iPods to store the touted 6 million songs available in this auction. That would cost you $52,350 before tax and shipping. Which is nothing really if you can afford $3 million in recorded materials. If you can hack that, you’ll be happy to know that you’ll currently be the only bidder.
TVT Records, former home of Nine Inch Nails and current home of Lil Jon and The Polyphonic Spree, has fired most of its employees in anticipation of filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. While many observers will probably chalk this up as another sign of how far the record industry has fallen, I think the more pertinent question is what will happen with Lil Jon’s Crunk Rock? A tearful nation awaits the answer.
What can I say about this album?
This CD is nothing but sugar-coated sugar, to the point where it makes Pixy Sticks look like a health food. It has hi-NRG covers of Phil Oakey (”Electric Dreams”), Heart (”Alone”), and The Cult (brace yourself for it…”Sanctuary”) on it. The entire thing is sung by a girl who goes by Katy ‘D’ — with quotes, just like that — who sounds like she’s in ninth grade. She’s not, however, as you can tell by the fact that they’ve got her posed on the back in an auto racing suit with the number “69″ on it. This CD has not one, not two, but three songs on it that I guess are “updates” of some sort, given that the titles are followed with “07,” something you don’t usually see outside of budget best-ofs of ’70s album rock artists who can’t get the rights to one of their big hits.
This CD is awesome.
Seriously, the whole thing is ridiculous, but I can’t stop listening to it. I don’t know if that says more about Kandystand or about me, but as far as cheese-dance goes, this album is truly great. Take this review for whatever it’s worth, but this is the sort of thing that completely compromises my objectivity. I’m dimly aware that I haven’t got any business listening to it, but I can’t concentrate any further than that, because the speakers are turned up so loud. I’m trying to resist, but I find myself utterly unable to.
Must…show me how you find…the….SANCTUARY…
Release date: Nov. 12, 2007
Label: Self-released (Team Hayward)
Rating: Dude…I don’t know. 7/10? 2/10? 10/10?
God dammit, the problem with rock and roll these days is that everyone just buys their instruments from a fracking music store. Whatever happened to pride in craftsmanship? Whatever happened to DIY? Remember when people actually had to build their own instruments, back in…uh…1287?
Thank god for the installation art nerds in Boston’s Neptune, who have no time for such frivolity and foolishness as “shopping” or “visiting music stores,” well, because they build their own instruments out of scrap metal. SCRAP METAL, you shits. You want “industrial?” They got it right here:
Jesus H, you could put an eye out with that thing.
Neptune are hitting the road on Feb. 28th in support of their abrasive new face-scraper Gong Lake. Neptune’s songs are as cold, unyielding, and disarming as their instruments–and obviously, the show is something to witness live. That sass is in the main: Read more »
