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I remember once, maybe when I was in high school, noticing that most adults had a cut-off age at which they stopped listening to the radio, and by extension, stopped paying attention to new music in general. My father, for instance, was intelligent and knowledgeable about popular music up to about 1978 — after which point he knew essentially nothing. (To his credit, after missing all of the 1980s, he started listening to some new things again; it became sort of something for us to share.)
Of course, as your humble superstarcastic.com correspondent, I continue to listen to as much new music as possible. I can, however, tell you that I stopped listening to music radio in 2004; although I know a good deal about plenty of albums released during the past three years, including some released on some very, very small labels, as well as a few not released on any label at all, many if not most “radio hits” are lost on me. Unless possibly they were playing in the mall when I was there.
And so, as some kind of penance to the gods of pop, I’m going to listen to the current top 10 tracks on Billboard’s Hot 100, and give you my thoughts as I do so, in real-time (or some approximation thereof). (I was going to do the top 20, but I figured it’s best to start with baby steps after being away from this for so long.) For the record, I’ve never heard any of these songs before in my life.
10. “Shawty” — Plies feat. T-Pain
I don’t have any idea how this man pronounces his stage name, but I’m hoping its “plee-AYS,” just like in ballet class. But I have high hopes for this tune, given that it’s a duet with a fellow whose biggest hit was a song called “I’m in Luv Wit’ a Stripper.” Plus, the current top comment on its YouTube video reads “diz song iz gud,” which is a ringing endorsement if I’ve ever seen one.
Now that I’m listening to it, I think my favorite thing about this song is that all of the sung vocals are filtered through an effect box stolen from Eiffel 65. Well, that and that it’s got some of the most clumsy, misogynistic, and ugly claims to be giving one’s girlfriend (or “shawty,” in the common parlance) sexual pleasure that I’ve heard outside of a middle school anywhere. (I’m assuming the radio version is edited…which this is definitely not.) I’m thinking it’s mostly men buying this song, because it’s difficult for me to imagine a woman doing so. I feel like taking a chemical shower now.
9. “Who Knew” — P!nk
I actually remember liking P!nk a little, back when she was all mizzundastood. This one sounds so much like the beginning of “Since U Been Gone” — and P!nk sounds so much like Kelly Clarkson — that it’s hard to recognize as P!nk’s work. It’s pleasant enough, and certainly much more inoffensive than the last song, but it’s had all of the edges sanded off — especially when the strings kick in on the bridge — and at this point, this is derivative enough to make Aly & AJ look positively avant-garde.
8. “Rockstar” — Nickelback
Erm…the nice thing about Nickelback is that they don’t trust their audience to catch irony, so they’re more than willing take anything that might otherwise have been subtle or clever and smash you over the head with it until they’re quite certain you get the point.
At any rate, if they wanted to perform a song on this subject, a cover of Joe Walsh’s “Life’s Been Good,” which is quite a bit funnier, would have been far superior. But that might have required overtaxing the drummer, who seems to be playing most of the song out of one of those “Play the Drums With Mel Bay, Level 1″ books.
7. “Let It Go” — Keyshia Cole Featuring Missy Elliott & Lil’ Kim
I once wanted to record a rap single by, say, Sam E. & SEE-NOTE with K-Taff and O.F.P., featuring R-Murray and introducing A-Dream, just to see how far you could stretch this trend of billing artists this way. But that’s neither here nor there.
The “ha-ha-ha-has,” just leave me wanting to turn on Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five. Cole herself actually has a pretty good voice, but her efforts are sabotaged by the fact that she’s stuck singing mediocre lyrics over the top of some very lazy production. Well, that and the fact that she has to fight with Missy and Kim, who appear to think that they’re in a very different song. Seriously, the switch between the sung sections and the rapped bits is awkward enough that I thought I was going to get whiplash. (I was going to compare it to the bit where Dorothy steps out of the house in The Wizard of Oz, but there isn’t any Technicolor in this song.)
Also, this song is over five minutes long. I hate to think what the extended-play dance remix sounds like.
6. “Bed” — J. Holiday
I really hoped that the backing track was going to go into full-on Peter Gabriel mode, since the drums showed some promise, but instead it sticks in first gear for the entire song. I’m afraid I’m going to fall asleep, which is fitting I suppose given the song’s title, but I do have five more of these to go.
And the best thing you can say about J. Holiday’s come-ons is that they’re better than Plies’. It’s not much, but it’s a start.
5. “Ayo Technology” — 50 Cent featuring Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
I think the single most disappointing music news story of the year involves Mr. Cent reneging on his promise to retire if Kanye West’s album outsold his own. On the basis of this particular tune, I’m going to posit that encouraging the world to party like it was their birthday — and sip Bacardi in the aforementioned manner — represented the zenith of 50’s lyrical ability. I’d quote a few lines as evidence, but my mother does occasionally read what I write here, and I don’t want to give her a heart attack.
Also, though he’s becoming really overrated, I do like Timbaland’s production, but this is one he could have tossed off in his sleep. The Bjork single was better.
4. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” — Fergie
I doubt it somehow, but if this is a Four Seasons cover, my estimation of Fergie will probably rise several notches. I might even temporarily stop making fun of the guy who works in the library with me for bringing his copy of The Dutchess to work with him.
And…it’s not a cover, but it vastly exceeds my expectations. That’s not exactly the highest praise, given that my expectations were entirely shaped by how much I hated “London Bridge” (a rare radio hit that I was not able to avoid, alas), but it’s a pleasant surprise after the last few songs. If anything, it shows that if Fergie gets tired of the whole hip-pop thing, she’s got a future making adult contemporary albums. Heck, I’m gonna make a prediction: sometime in 2011, Fergie will release a duets album, which will feature collaborations with Jim Brickman, Josh Groban, and that one girl who sang “I Hope You Dance.” Well, and Justin Timberlake too, but only because he’ll still be on everything, even then. (Did you know that he’s on the new Reba McEntire album? And no, that’s not a joke, much as I wish it was.)
3. “The Way I Are” — Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson
I’m happy to note that the official music video for this song is presented by the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with Cheese. (What, you were expecting The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar?)
This strangely canned robot-funk is actually pretty catchy. It’s got the elements I tend to like in Timbaland’s productions — big fat synth-hooks, beautifully simplistic drums that use silence well, and basslines the size of an American car of the late 1950s. That said, Timbaland isn’t much of a rapper, (”I ain’t got a motorboat, but I can float your boat” is a pretty typical line) and so I’m not completely sold on this one. It sure sounds good by comparison though.
2. “Crank That (Soulja Boy) — Soulja Boy Tell’em
In a field with some pretty impressive contenders (think Vanilla Ice, or possibly Chingy, whose name I always wanted to rhyme with “dingy”), I think Soulja Boy Tell’em is right in the running for worst hip-hop stage name.
This apparently is a song with a dance that goes with it. It looks pretty dumb, from what I can see in the video, but less dumb than “The Macarena,” which is encouraging. I kind of want to like this song, actually, just because it’s got a goofy steel drum sample, but I’ve been listening to The Knife’s “Pass This On” all week, and so my standards for songs that use steel drums in unorthodox ways are pretty high just now. Props to Soulja Boy Tell’em for the totally old-school sunglasses though. Next pair of sunglasses I get, I’m gonna write my name on the lenses too.
1. “Stronger” — Kanye West
Well, I can’t hate this completely, since I like the Daft Punk song that makes up three-quarters of this track. Or maybe I can hate it, in the same way that I hated “I’ll Be Missin’ You.”
I can at least understand why this is popular — it’s based heavily on a very catchy song. But it’s also everything I detest about pop music — an amazingly lazy piggybacking off the work of the more talented, the triumph of mediocrity over genius, the ultimate victory of creative bankruptcy.
Yeah. I think it might be a while before I do this again…
Cease to Begin was the first I’d ever heard from Band of Horses (heard of them, as the excuse goes), and the problem with slavish indulgence of any album without reference to previous or subsequent efforts is that you’re surprised to find that the others don’t sound exactly like the one you first fell for (fill in relationship analogy here). Preference is one thing, but BOH debut Everything All the Time played like a tribute to the who’s who of indie (some songs I swore featured guest appearances by Jim James, Sufjan Stevens, or Great Lake Swimmers). Cease, on the other hand, is a superlative follow-up that expands on the moments in Everything that were uniquely BOH; it also puts them high in the running for feature in the next Volkswagen commercial.
Take, for starters, the outstanding opener ‘Is There a Ghost’: writers of a lesser ilk would be tempted to force more lyrics into the memorable and boisterous melody, but Ben Bridwell leaves the strange haiku alone – this is good. Keep this song away from English teachers because the mixed-tense lyrics, “When I lived alone, is there a ghost in my house?” are bound to send them into fits of rage, but it’s nonsense verse that isn’t so obtuse as to beg for attention.
Every instrument is distinct and emphasized, especially in dulcet numbers like the Fender Rhodes-heavy ‘Detlef Schrempf’ (which has nothing, far as I can tell, whatsoever to do with the former Indiana Pacer) but also smash-ups like ‘Marry Song’. In a comfortable progression, but not necessarily predictable order, Cease ranges from thoughtful country-tinged flavor to ebullient garage rock, and if it not entirely new it is certainly a smart revision of existing conventions.
If bands have lately been skimping on closing their albums well, Band of Horses makes a timely exit. The album, just over a half-hour long, bows out over four tracks from the strategically-brilliant instrumental ‘Islands on the Coast’ (almost unnoticeable by itself, but vital to the progression of the album’s coda) to a pair of aggressive marauders, topped off with the reflective, road-weary ‘Window Blues’.
There is also enough optimism to fuel a rally; the disc, it should be noted, will not serve as good break-up or crisis music, so approach this only if your life is in relatively good order.
Sub Pop
Oct. 9, 2007
9/10
It was a sad day for anyone who loved pop music when Paul Hester, drummer/vocalist for the then-defunct Crowded House, decided in 2005 that the world wasn’t a place he wanted to be anymore, and ended his own life. Although it wasn’t entirely a secret that Hester had been fighting depression for a long time, it’s still hard for me to reconcile his untimely end with his wicked sense of humor, and his sheer love of music. When I think of Hester, I think of him in some of the old clips from the ’80s, a smile on his rubber face, lost in the joy of whatever song was playing — “Now We’re Getting Somewhere,” maybe, or “Sister Madly.” That’s the image of him that I want to keep.
At any rate, Hester’s death casts a long, long shadow over Time On Earth, the first proper album for Crowded House since 1993’s Together Alone. The current iteration of the group retains the other two core members, singer/guitarist and principal songwriter Neil Finn, and bassist/harmony vocalist Nick Seymour. The lineup is fleshed out by latter-day guitarist Mark Hart and former Beck drummer Matt Sherrod, at least on paper, but the pair only appear on four of the album’s fourteen tracks, meaning that Time On Earth is for the most part simply the work of Finn and Seymour.
“Nobody wants to think about it. Nobody wants to talk about it,” Finn’s aching voice declares on the opening cut, “Nobody Wants To.” “They make it go away, pretending that it’s all OK.” It’s hard not to connect this with the band’s loss, and it sets a solemn tone for the album that never really lifts. The humor that was normally injected into even the most somber Crowded House releases (think Woodface) is essentially absent here; even the semi-jokey “Transit Lounge” can’t keep a smile on its face for long, as the later verses descend into the same melancholy that pervades the rest of the record.
What remains is classic, almost archetypal Neil Finn: slightly oblique lyrics, heavenly melodies, and arrangements so carefully crafted that they almost seem plated in gold. Seymour holds his own, to be sure, but this is Finn’s showcase — perhaps fittingly, given that the album began life with the idea that it would be a Finn solo album. It’s hardly a departure for him, which is probably the easiest criticism to level at Time On Earth, but it isn’t as if Finn is slacking off — this album is strong enough to stand alongside his best work. This is high praise: there’s a reason that Finn is often considered the finest songwriter ever produced by New Zealand, and it’s not just that the only competition outside of his own family that many record consumers in the US at least can name is that guy from OMC.
This is not to say that Time On Earth is immediately “catchy” in a Pure Pop For Now People sense; anyone scanning the record looking for another “Don’t Dream It’s Over” won’t find one. But it spins out like magic if you give it enough time, if you really listen to the ethereal wistfulness of “A Sigh,” or the sparkling interplay of the Johnny Marr collaboration “Even A Child” (which, by the way, is one of the more inspired things Johnny’s put his name to in several years). If the mood isn’t particularly wide-ranging, the album more than makes up for it in depth. It’s well worth the investment of a few hours to play Time On Earth multiple times; it will sound better each time you hear it.
Expectations are usually pretty low when a band re-forms a decade and a half later, minus a key member — and with good reason, as anyone who made the mistake of picking up, say, A Light at the End of the World will tell you. Time On Earth proves a happy exception, perhaps because of the tribute aspects of this release, or perhaps because Neil Finn, unlike many famous singers whose bands broke up, has managed to produce useful music during the intervening years (check out 2004’s woefully under-heralded Everyone Is Here, the second album Neil released with brother Tim as The Finn Brothers if you don’t believe me). It doesn’t replace Temple of Low Men or Woodface — it’s not coming from the same place, for one thing — but it’s more than a worthy addition to the band’s legacy: it’s a truly great album in its own right, a near-perfect slice of pop melancholia that’s been polished until it shines.
Release date: July 10, 2007
Label: EMI/Parlophone
Rating: 9/10
Indie-pop outfit Rogue Wave, a track from whose new album we recently previewed for you, have just kicked off a US tour. Here are the dates:
Sep 13 - Carnegie Music Hall - Pittsburgh, PA
Sep 14 - Messiah College - Grantham, PA -
Sep 15 - Michigan Theater - Ann Arbor, MI
Oct 10 - The Casbah - San Diego, CA
Oct 11 - El Rey Theatre - Los Angeles, CA
Oct 12 - Bimbos - San Francisco, CA
Oct 15 - Wonder Ballroom - Portland, OR
Oct 16 - Neumo’s - Seattle, WA
Oct 19 - Bluebird theatre - Denver, CO
Oct 20 - The Bottleneck - Lawrence, KS
Oct 21 - Waiting Room - Omaha, NE
Oct 23 - 400 Bar - Minneapolis, MN
Oct 24 - Double Door - Chicago, IL
Oct 26 - The Mod Club - Toronto, CA
Oct 27 - Cabaret Music Hall - Montreal, CA -
Oct 29 - Iron Horse Music Hall - North Hampton, MA
Oct 30 - Paradise Rock Club - Boston, MA
Nov 1 - Bowry Ballroom - New York, NY
Nov 2 - Maxwells - Hoboken, NJ
Nov 3 - Jonny Brenda’s - Philadelphia, PA
Nov 5 - the Black Cat - Washington, DC
Nov 6 - Satellite Balllroom - Charlottesville, VA
Nov 8 - The Earl - Atlanta, GA
Nov 9 - Mercy Lounge - Nashville, TN
Nov 10 - The Bottletree - Birmingham, AL
Also, the new album, Asleep at Heaven’s Gate, has apparently dropped on iTunes a week ahead of its standard release (September 18), with an extra track available. So, if you liked the track we brought you, feel free to check it out.
Our first (and last) marquee of this tour!
As I believe I mentioned in the last tour journal entry, I could have been fine with Seattle being the last show of the tour, and if Portland sucked it… well that would be fine, I would just remember it different in my mind. See, the NW fest, which is a big music festival was happening that weekend, which the Tonic is NOT a part of, and basically meant that we were competing with at least a dozen really good shows. Bummer!
However, I was very pleasantly surprised by the PDX, and. dun… dun… DAH the very last night of the tour.
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Hi everybody, i’m Conan Neutron, I play in the band Replicator from Oakland, CA. There are many tour diaries, but this one is mine. Thanks to the SSC gang for asking us to do it here.
At this point in the tour we really had hit the wall as far as homesickness goes, two kind of lackluster shows in a row was making us all feel a little road weary. Luckilly Seattle decided it was going to treat us right, and the spontaneous cheering that we sprang into when we saw Puget Sound (and by extension, the Pacific… meaning OUR coast), was definitely indicative of a larger feeling.
Luckilly we were in for a hell of a good time in the beautiful SeaTac area, and, as it turns out, one of the best shows of the tour.
Just ask James from Police Teeth/USS Horsewhip there, he’s so stoked on the show he is IN. BEN’S. FACE.
James from Police Teeth/USS Horsewhip messing with Professor Ben.
Montana is big and wide, it’s why it’s called Big Sky Country. It’s also home to Wantage USA one hell of a rock label that puts out some amazing stuff (think: Fucking Champs, The Whip, Big Business, Federation-X), etc. Although we had only been to Missoula once, almost 5 years ago, we had a great time and were excited to return there.
Kum and Go!
a real chain of convienence stores/gas stations
After spending the better part of the day travelling through Montana, which again is very pretty, but also FREAKING HUGE, we finally roll into Missoula, where we stop by a local coffee shop for liquid libations for the caff-heads in the band, and delicious crepes for all. The numbers taken for orders were actually different countries, which led to endless jokes about Italy sitting with the German delegation, and France being lowest on the totem pole for food imports.
We also briefly stopped by the local army surplus store, looking at the paintball guns and butterfly knives, good times!
Missoula is a cool little town, I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly makes it different, but it is unique. It has a combination of college town, plus working class mentality and…Montana. It somehow seems to work in a way that it never has for me in say, Olympia. Everybody is very friendly and helpful and cool and the vibe is just pretty cool. I’m sure it has it’s dark side like everywhere else, but it just seems like a nice place to me.
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Leaving our tourmates the Hifi was rough, leaving all of our Wisconsin pals was rough, leaving our faithful mad servant M’ris was rough, getting up after a night of hard rockin’, drinkin’, and not nearly enough sleeping. VERY tough.
I didn’t expect the Twin Cities on a tuesday the day after a heavy drinking holiday to be that great, luckilly I wasn’t disappointed. 
Shiny Gitarre
It’s official: Replicator is all about Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Ifihadahifi left Chicago after the show at the Bottle, since home wasn’t too far for them. We stayed with my friends Matt and Nat and their adorable Beagles. Being the perfect hosts, they provided us with cereal, delicious pound cake, fresh towels, coffee (for Chris and Todd), and anything else you could imagine. To say they are good hosts would be an understatement, they are fine people and assets to humanity for weary travellers such as ourselves.
With Ben staying with Amanda at Bear Claw’s place it was an excellent opportunity to sleep in. See here’s the thing, Ben from Replicator is a morning person, and early riser. I most definitely am not. CONFLICT! I can get up early, but I always prefer not to, and in “rock” mode it is exceptionally difficult. Granted, I do so without the stimulation of the drug known as caffeine, which makes me the major exception in the band, any which way you slice it though the sleep debt piles up, so sleeping in was absolutely heavenly!
As an aside, at one point on this tour after waking up pretty close to Ben time for the 4th or 5th time in a row, I completely chewed him out and probably mentioned something about committing murder if I didn’t get a good nights sleep for once.
hahaha.
What can I say, that’s how I roll?
Soon enough we left to pick up Ben and Amanda, catching the last 5 minutes of the excellent Alice Cooper fresh air interview on NPR, sadly our friend Bob is not able to come up to Milwaukee as he thought he might be since he’s really behind on studio work, however… with Amanda added to the crew the grand total of the Supernaut crew is 6 for a two hour drive. Therefore, we would have had to people share with Hifi anyway, the same Hifi who took off the night before, so perhaps it is for the best. Needless to say this is a WEE bit packed. I wisely took the helm and drove us to Milwaukee, heh heh. Sorry Chris, looks like you get the thumb.
Anyway, we were off to MKE WHERE, a labor day BBQ was being thrown in our honor.
YAY!
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Double flash Conan at the Empty Bottle in Chicago
Replicator played Chicago at the Empty Bottle and it was actually, for the first time for Replicator in Chicago, a pretty darn good show. Well attended by many internet styled personalities as well.
There was also this sign there:
100,000 Leagues Under my Nutsack
WOW! That cracked me up enough to be the pull title for this post. but first we left Detroit:
Ben and Lucy the dog, who lives at Rev. Scott’s place from the Amino Acids.
For some reason Ben started singing the William Tell Overture and made as if he was riding her.
She is such a sweet dog she totally let him do it. Adorable!
We bid Scott’s place and Detroit farewell, and started on our way to Chicago with the hifi in tow. On the drive we threw a banana peel at them in an act of escalating band prankery, Yale from Hifi swore revenge.
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